What are the right things? I do not need to tell you. You know what they are. You know exactly what you need to do to change your life completely for the better. The problem is never that we do not know; it is always that we do not do what we already know. So I am not go¬ing to insult you by making you a cute little list that reads, “Just Do This Stuff” and you will be okay.

Am I totally against motivation and self-help? Not at all. I make my living in that industry. In fact, this is a self-help blog.

But look at those two concepts: motivation and self-help. People think of those as separate things. The key is to put those two con¬cepts together. The only way to become motivated is to help your¬self. It is up to you: not a book, a tape, or a speech. And it is not up to any speaker, teacher, or preacher either. None of those can really motivate you, so do not look to them. Do not count on them. Does that sound strange to hear from a guy who has written over a dozen self-help books, has recorded many audio and video series, and who makes his living speaking? It may sound strange, but the truth often does. I do not believe any book or tape or speech can really moti¬vate you. Those things can only help you to motivate yourself. You will only change when you are ready to change, want to change, and believe that you can. A book, a tape, or a speech only serves you well when it makes you believe that you can. And most motivational tools can’t do that. Instead, they make you feel good about who you are already. Feeling good about yourself will not move you from where you are to where you want to be.

That is why I say motivation does not work. If it did, then motiva¬tional speakers would run the world and they would be zillionaires. Trust me, they do not run the world and they are not zillionaires. I do not underestimate the value of what some motivational speakers say; I owe a lot to many of them. But I do not owe any of them for teaching me that feeling good about who I am will make a difference. I do, however, owe a great deal to those who reminded me instead to feel good about what I can do.