You may not be fully aware of what gets in your way, but the clues are in what you say and how you describe your experience. Ever heard yourself utter things like ‘It’s impossible for me to leave my job’, or ‘I’m always going to have problems because I never went to the right school’, or ‘They’ll never choose me for promotion because everyone knows they want someone who is younger/ slimmer/ an accountant/ a creative type/ female/ male/ white/ black’ and so on.

The following are some beliefs that usually holds you back:

• The unknown isn’t safe.
• I’m too old to make a major life change.
• I am not skilled enough.
• My family and friends will think I’m crazy.
• I’m not sure that I can trust my decisions or choices.

Such statements are not based on reality, but on your perception of it. In fact, they are merely stories/statements to frighten yourself with. These generalisations limit you and drain your confidence to have a go at whatever adventures lie ahead. They have the same negative effect on those around you. The way you describe your world becomes your experience of it.

As Einstein once famously pointed out: ‘The most important question to ask, is: Is the universe a hostile or friendly place?’ If you describe your world with hostile language, that is what you experience. Life becomes a nightmare if that’s how you dream. Those who negatively distort reality suffer the most stress, anxiety, and depression, all of which get in the way of living confidently

As you re-create your more confident reality, listen to your own words. Notice when your descriptions include words such as always, never, everyone, nothing, totally, impossible. Replace them or qualify them with more liberating words such as I choose to,sometimes, possibly, almost.