Being confidence makes us feel good. Confidence is an everyday experience, something you have quite often, except on those all important occasions when it seems to leave you and could really use more of it - whatever ‘it’ is. You may think you know what it is, and you may feel certain that you can recognise it when you see it, but you may struggle to define exactly what ‘it’ is.

When asked to think what confidence means, most people have a feel for it but find it quite difficult to tie down precisely. After all, confidence is not some miracle pill or wonder food you can buy in a shop.

A good dictionary provides at least three definitions for confidence, and it’s important to understand each aspect as it is easy to muddle them: Self-assuredness, Belief in the ability of other people, Keeping certain information secret or restricted to a few people.

But I think the following definition is more precise;

Confidence is the ability to take appropriate and effective action in any situation, however challenging it appears to you or others.

Now, how does confidence show up in daily life? Well, have you ever started something – perhaps an exercise session or presentation at work – even though you didn’t feel like doing it at that moment, only to find that once you got going, you started to feel okay about it and even glad you tackled it?

Approaching challenges with confidence brings clear benefits. First, you believe that it is possible to tackle and achieve things that others consider difficult. Secondly, You inspire others around you and stop them panicking.

Confidence is not about feeling good inside, although it’s a bonus if you do.

Don’t worry about whether you feel comfortable performing a challenging activity or are fully relaxed about the action you are taking. Confident people are okay with the feeling of not knowing all the answers. Phew, what a relief. Confidence is just the feeling that it’ll be okay.

The sense of feeling confident inside comes with increased practice and familiarity with what you do. You can also create it from your life experiences and bring it out when you need it. This doesn’t mean that you won’t ever feel scared. You will, but the good news is that you’ll be able to live with the fear.

Here are some ways that you can recognise confidence in yourself:

• You feel poised and balanced.
• You are breathing easily.
• You are moving towards a goal or action with a sense of purpose.
• You are being proactive rather than defensive.
• You know that you’ll be able to deal with whatever life throws at you, even if you can’t control it.
• You can laugh at yourself.
• You know everything will be alright in the end, however long it takes.