If you are like most of the peo­ple in the world you are probably talking so much you cannot even hear what is being said. My dad always put it this way: “You are broad­casting when you ought to be tuned in.” In other words, shut your mouth for a minute and pay attention.

That has probably been your biggest problem. You were so busy talking you did not shut up long enough to pay attention. You missed all the important lessons of life.

“Most of us are so busy running around creating the soap opera and drama we call our lives that we don’t hear anything.”
-Louise Hay

In the New Testament there is a story about Jesus, traveling in a fishing boat with his disciples. A big wind comes up, the waves rise, and all of the disciples think they’re going to die. They awaken Jesus from his nap, whining and crying, and he says, “Hush, be still” (Mark 4:39 KJV). Then he goes on to talk to them about their faith. (But he first has to make the winds, the waves, and the disciples hush.)

When I was growing up, I was often told to “Hush!” I knew ex­actly what it meant. In fact, the word “hush” has been shortened to “shhhh.” (I bet you did not know that, did you? See, you are already learning stuff.) When you hear “hush” or “shhhh” you know it means to be quiet. Actually I think if those words of Jesus were being trans­lated today, they could just as easily be, “Shut up! Be quiet! I’m about to teach you something.”

It is impossible to listen while you are talking. It just cannot be done. Yet all of the good information comes to us only when we are quiet and listen. You cannot learn while you are talking. You can only learn when you are listening. So when was the last time you really got quiet and listened? I mean really listened? You should try it some time. You might be amazed at what you hear. Jimi Hendrix once said, “Knowl­edge speaks but wisdom listens.”

LISTEN TO OTHERS

Stop and listen to your spouse or significant other. I do not mean the kind of listening you do when the TV is blaring in the background. I mean the kind of listening where you stop and hold hands and look into each other’s eyes and really listen. This special exchange will take you to new heights in your relationship.

Take some time to listen to your kids. I once read that the aver­age parent spends less than seven minutes a day in direct commu­nication with their children. I know how hard it is to communicate with your kids. I have been there. Especially when you are the par­ent of a teenager. Sometimes, the last thing your teenager wants to do is talk to you. Usually it is just easier not to talk to them because all they do is make monosyllabic grunts in response to you. Tough. Make them talk. Bug the hell out of them and force the communi­cation if you have to. Both of my sons went through periods when they hated talking to me. How sad for them. I just kept talking and forced them to listen. I made them talk and forced myself to listen, even when what they had to say was hard for me to listen to. For in­stance, one time my son, Tyler, told me I ought to listen to my own speech. Ouch!

Most people think communication is about talking. That is only a small part of it. Listening is the biggest part. Become very good at it with those you love.