You know who the whiners and blamers are around you. If you have any sense of personal protection, you probably try to steer well clear of them or limit your time with them. When you’re stuck in blaming mode, positive people begin to avoid your company and you end up building friendships with those who reinforce your blame approach so that you can double up on your whingeing and whining.

The blame mind-set is not a helpful place to be if you want to get on and succeed in this world. Blame limits your choices and your results. You find fault in others rather than taking responsibility for the results you get. You wait around for others to do things before you act.

Successful business leaders and entrepreneurs don’t hang around blaming others or making excuses, they do everything in their power to bring about change. They take it upon themselves to make a difference without expecting others to bale them out.

For one day, imagine that you are able to observe all your own behaviour – everything you do and say. You can be like a parrot on your own shoulder. Take notice when you think that a situation is due to what others around you are doing and when you make excuses for yourself. Then hear the parrot on your shoulder say: ‘What are you choosing to do about it then?’

Your aim is to shift your blame mind-set into one in which you choose your outcome. Choosing your outcome can transform your world and open up new possibilities. You switch your focus of attention from what has gone wrong to what you want to have happen instead. You adopt an active and positive position rather than waiting and reacting defensively to others. Two key indicators of confidence are self-awareness and flexibility in behaviour. With the imaginary parrot’s help, you can raise your scores on both counts